A friend of mine noted that the MacBook Air doesn’t incorporate a locking slot. He figured this was an oversight by Apple. I disagree. Here’s why:

Shortly Apple will announce AirForce, their proprietary new physical security paradigm. The MB Air knows its owner via a variety of biometric factors (body temperature, pheromones, skin pH, etc.). When a non-owner approaches and the owner is not within a designated “radius of trust,” AirForce kicks into action. Three small slots on the underside of the GPU each hold a micro-drone. These drones, known as AirPods, instantly fly out of the MB Air and begin playing preselected music or voice recordings from playlists that can hold 100Mb of audio.

As an example, one AirPod might play “Welcome to the Jungle,” while the second plays an audio clip from RoboCop: “Dead or alive, you’re coming with me.” The third would add the finishing touch by playing a loud, wailing police siren sound.

The drones are smaller than horseflies, and use adaptive camouflage so they are almost impossible to detect. The AirPods also wirelessly send a message to the owner’s mobile phone and take biometric readings of the would-be thief, which are forwarded to Apple’s AirForceCentral in Cupertino.

AirForce service costs $100 per year and will be available immediately upon announcement (likely some time this spring). Steve Jobs will, of course, remind us all that “the only thing sexier than small is invisible.”

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